Captain’s Log, Stardate 21102006.0902X. We have positioned an array of remote sensing drones in low orbit around this planet. To be honest, just out of curiosity. Maybe there are some redeeming qualities of of the main species, something we have not yet really been able to find so far.
It is somewhat of a costly endeavour, since these drones use Filibuster-Rays. We need to dismantle their gas giant Neptune to fuel them. Filibuster-Ray Devices were developed by the Slug-Beings of Blip, to help them understand why they keep on bumping into each other during their journeys through space-time. They penetrate negative time space and give close-up views of time/action sequences at distances up to 183,000 “Football Fields” (we are learning to use observed earthly coordinate systems). The use of Filibuster-Rays does tend to generate correlative anomalies at the target coordinates, so its use is restricted and we must be careful.
The last crew who used it on this planet triggered the appearance of drag-racing, an utterly useless form of recreational competion. The crew had to leave immediately.
Our first puzzling recording from drone xj3459/x, picked up in a person-queue on “Saturday morning” (a very rough expression for a space-indeterminate time-slice) at a bakery. A female enters the establishment, notices a male holding a child. Apparently they know each other. The image/voice recording as follows:
Female: “Oh hi! How are yooooo!?”
Male: “Hi. I’m fine thanks. How are you?”
Female: “Oh, I’m fine. How are you?”
Male does not seem to answer
Female moves to view child
Female: “Hi little one. Are you here to buy bread with your father?”
The child does not answer
Our AnalysisEngine is unable to correlate this interaction with any form of measurable intelligence. We must recalibrate our settings.